Australian Competitions Club

Mid-life is when you go to your doctor and you realize you are now so old,you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
Mid-life woman no longer have upper arms,we now have wingspans....we are no longer woman in sleeveless shirts,we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life has hit when you stand in front of your mirror naked and you can see your rear end without turning around.
You know you are getting old when you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.
You know you have crossed the threshold when you are at the grocery store and you hear a music version of
"Stairway to Heaven"in the produce department.
Mid-life is when you bounce( a lot )but don't bounce back.(It's more like splat)
It's very hard to "get jiggy with it"in mid-life..jiggly,yes; jiggy,no.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm youg lady in a tube top and scream,"Listen,honey,even the Roman Empire fell,and those things will too!
Mid-life can bring out your angry, bitter side.You look at your latte-swilling,beeper wearing know-it all teenager,and think"For this i have stretchmarks?
Mid-life is when your memory really starts to go,and all you retain is water.
You become more reflective in mid-life.You start pondering the "big" questions--what is life,why am i here...how much Healthy Choice icecream can i eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

love it ally1981....thank you for the laughs..... :D :D

that is funny and true as well