Australian Competitions Club

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....


Baby  bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at  the table.
He looks into his small bowl.  It is empty. 'Who's been eating  my
porridge?'  he squeaks..

Daddy  Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big  chair. He looks
into his big bowl and it is also  empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?'
he  roars.

Mummy  Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from  the kitchen and
yells, 'For God's sake, how many  times do I have to go through this with
you  idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was  Mummy Bear who woke
everyone in the house. It was  Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy
Bear  who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and  put everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who swept  the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who
went out in the cold early morning air to fetch  The newspaper and
croissants. It was Mummy Bear  who set the damn table.

'It  was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned  the cat's litter
tray, gave them their food, and  refilled their water.

'And  now that you've decided to drag your sorry  bear-arses downstairs and
grace Mummy Bear with  your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because  I'm
only going to say this  once....



'I  HAVEN'T MADE THE ***!!***  PORRIDGE  YET!