Print Page - For the Mum's

Not sure whether I have posted this one before. I still have a good chuckle every time I read it...

Subject: Raising Boys>>>> The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things> I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):>>>>
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.> house 4 inches deep.>>>>
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with> roller blades, they can ignite.>>>>
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded> restaurant.>>>>
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not> strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a > Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, > to spreadpaint> on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.>>>>
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. Whenusing> a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times> beforeyou> get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.>>>>
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop abaseball hit> bya> ceiling fan.>>>>
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already> too late.>>>>
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.>>>>
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though> a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.>>>>
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year> old Boy.>>>>
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.>>>> 12.) Super glue is forever.>>>>
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still> can't walk on water.>>>>
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.>>>>
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercialsshow> they do.>>>>
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.>>>>
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.>>>>
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.>>>>
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do> not like ovens.>>>>
20.) The fire department in Austin,TX has a 5-minute response time.>>>>
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms> dizzy.>>>>
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.>>>>
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.>>>>
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,> withor> without kids.>>>>
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake> fluid

ha ha we have an ancient 1950's beer fridge with the tiniest freezer compartment that we don't use because it's always in the process of freezing over or just a mass of ice. when we moved last and let it defrost i found an amazing number of plastic soldiers and asstd other toys emerging from the ice like pre-historic man...

...and when i started to work on the garden in the new house i found a burial site full of dismembered, incinerated plastic soldiers obviously left there by the last lot of kids...

it must be a universal kid-thing.

Australian Competitions Club

Discussions => Jokes => Topic started by: coochiechic on Friday 09 November 2007, 03:15:45 pm