Australian Competitions Club

Funny Hotel Notices In The Lobby:

1) English well speaking.

2) We take your bags and send them in all direction.

3) In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

4) The elevator is being fixed for the next day.
    During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

4a) In the lift:
      Do not enter the elevator backwards, and only when lit up.

4b) To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.

5) Customers are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.



Funny Notices In the Bedroom:

1) Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.

2) Please to bathe inside the tub.

3) Please leave your values at the front desk.

4) You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

5) Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Funny Notices In a the bar:

1) Special cocktails: For the ladies with nuts.

2) Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

3) Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

4) Special today — no ice cream.

Funny Holiday Notices In the Hotel Shop

1) For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

2) If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.

3) Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

4) Specialist in women and other diseases.

5) Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

Funny Notices In the Hotel Grounds

1) Stop. Drive sideways.

2) Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, please give it to the guard on duty.

3) A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

4) Ladies, please leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

5) Take one of our horse-driven tours — we guarantee no miscarriages.

5a) Would you like to ride on your own ass?

Oh my god I nearly died from laughter :D :D :D :D
Hubby just inquired why and I couldn't reply from laughing so much  :lol:

Thanks for the giggles gmr

well, i know where i'm going for my next holiday!  sounds like a wild place!

sounds like falwty towers with basil falwty

Some, I have read before. However, they are still funny.