Title: Walmart (USA) Application for Employment Post by: sylph on Thursday 11 September 2008, 08:24:19 am Wal Mart Applicant revealed...
Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old B*****d) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. ***Old People Rock! *** Title: Re: Walmart (USA) Application for Employment Post by: snuggle1 on Thursday 11 September 2008, 08:44:41 am Hilarious. I once wrote on a job application where it read: Are there any special requirements to assist you with your work (or similar wording): Feed and water three times daily. I got the job. However, one of my team mates found out about it (not from me) and stated that I was demeaning towards the company and I did not deserve the postition. I actually worked harder than her!
Title: Re: Walmart (USA) Application for Employment Post by: insanemum66 on Thursday 11 September 2008, 10:55:50 am thats funny i wish all employers had a sense of humour like that
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