Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping

[Ozziesparkler]

Couldn't resist this one.
 
WHY WOMEN  SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN  SHOPPING
 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany  her on her trips to Target.   Unfortunately, like most men,  I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. 
       
Yesterday  my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. 



     
Dear  Mrs.Hudson 
       
Over the  past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.We

cannot  tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the 

store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. J.Hudson  are  listed below and are

documented by our video surveillance cameras. 


       
1. June 15:  ! ;Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's cart s  when they weren't looking.


       
2.  July 2:

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute  intervals. 


       
3. July  7:

He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor  leading to the  women's restroom. 


       
4. July  19:

Walked up to an employee and told her in an official  voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get

on it right away?. This caused the  employee to leave her assigned station and

receive a reprimand from  her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union

grievance, causing  management to lose time and costing the company money. 


       
5.  August 4:

Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of  M&Ms on layby.


6.  August 14:

Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted  area.


       
7.  August 15:

Set up a tent in the camping department and told the  children shoppers he'd invite

them in if they would bring pillows and  blankets from the bedding department to

which twenty children obliged. 


       
8.  August 23:

When a clerk asked if they could help him he began  crying and screamed, 'Why can't

you people just leave me alone?'    Police  were called. 


       
9.  September 4:

Looked right into the security camera and used it as a  mirror while he picked his nose.


       
10.  September 10:

While handling guns in the hunting dep! artment, he  asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 

       
11.  October 3:

Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming  the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 


       
12.  October 6:

In the auto department, he practiced his  'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.   
 

13. October 18:  Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK  ME! PICK ME!' 


       
14.  October 21:

When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he  assumed a fetal position and
screamed  'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES  AGAIN!'

And last, but not least: 


       
15. October 23:

Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,  then yelled very loudly,

'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.

One of the clerks passed out. 
 

[snuggle1]

My husband likes pushing the shopping trolley. At the checkout, there is usually one or two items in the trolley that are not on my shopping list.