You know you're a nurse when..
1) your T-Shirt Reads
'Nurses... here to save your ass,
not kiss it!'
2) You occasionally park in the space with the 'Doctors only' sign and
knock it over.
3) You believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill
them.
4) You recognize that you can't cure stupid .
5) You own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications
on them.
6) You believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the
call Bell.
7) You believe that saying 'it can't get any worse' causes it to get worse
just to show you it can.
You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
9) You believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pyjamas is
a cool one.
10) You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
12) You've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of
birth control.
13) You've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve
earrings say 'I'm afraid of injections.'
14) You've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
15) You've told a confused patient that your name is that of a co-worker
and to call if they need help
16) Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's Water tank.
17) You have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
18) You believe that not all patients are annoying... Some are
unconscious.
19) Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you
because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside
down x-rays.
20) You don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.
21) You've sworn to have 'do not resuscitate' tattooed on your chest. Soon.
22) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to
you.
23) Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
24) Your idea of good timing is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
25) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
26) You believe that 'shallow gene pool' should be a recognized diagnosis.
27) You believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
28) You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the
phrase 'Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?
29) You have ever wanted to write a book entitled 'Suicide: getting it right
the first time.'
30) You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say 'I
have no idea how that got stuck in there..'
31) You've had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh
uncontrollably.
Send this on to all the nurses you know and those who appreciate the nurses
in their lives.... !!!!
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