pixie666
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« : Thursday 12 November 2009, 12:54:32 am » |
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They Walk Among Us!----------------------------------------------------------------- > Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. > To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a > sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' > For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. > He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. > So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' > > The next day someone stole it! > > They walk amongst us!----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I stopped at Mc Donald’s and ordered some fries. The girl behind the counter said “would you like some fries with that?” > ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > *One day I was walking down the beach with > some friends when someone shouted.... > 'Look at that dead bird!' > Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' > > They walk among us! > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > While looking at a house, my brother asked the > estate agent which direction was north because > he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. > She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' > My brother explained that the sun rises in the east > and has for sometime. She shook her head and said, > 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......' > > They Walk Among Us!----------------------------------------------------------------- > My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, > when we overheard an admin girl talking about the > sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. > She drove down in a convertible, but said > she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned > because the car was moving'. > > They Walk Among Us!----------------------------------------------------------------- > My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car > which is designed to cut through a seat belt > if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk. > > They Walk Among Us!----------------------------------------------------------------- I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman > with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. > My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip > out every time she turns her head!" > I had to explain that a person's nose and ear > remain the same distance apart no > matter which way the head is turned... > > They Walk Among Us !------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and. > went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. > The woman there smiled and told me not to worry > because she was a trained professional and > said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, > 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... > (I work with professionals like this.) > > They Walk Among Us!----------------------------------------------------------------- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man > ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and > the cook asked him if he would like it cut > into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time > then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry > enough to eat 6 pieces. > > They Walk Among Us! > > : > A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. > > 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?' > > 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.' > > 'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi. > > Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'' > > Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
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