Walmart (USA) Application for Employment

[sylph]

Wal Mart Applicant revealed...

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in
California . They hired him because he was funny.....


NAME:    Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old B*****d)

SEX:    Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION:    Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:    $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:    Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:    Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:    A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:    My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:    It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:    Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:    1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:    Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:    If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:    Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:    I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:    I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:    On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?:   Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE:    7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:    Oh yes, absolutely.


***Old People Rock! ***

[snuggle1]

Hilarious. I once wrote on a job application where it read: Are there any special requirements to assist you with your work (or similar wording): Feed and water three times daily. I got the job. However, one of my team mates found out about it (not from me) and stated that I was demeaning towards the company and I did not deserve the postition. I actually worked harder than her!

[insanemum66]

thats funny i wish all employers had a sense of humour like that