http://www.motherinc.com.au/magazine/frontpage/972-book-giveaway"The Me Strategies" Book Giveaway 
Touted as a new revolution in parenting ‘The me strategies’ has been created by revered psychologist Jenny Chapman, the program gives parents of children aged from 4 years to when they leave home a chance to create healthier relationships within the family household.
‘The me strategies’ is relevant not only to daily tasks but also to issues such as childhood obesity, ADHD and bullying. While typical parenting techniques rely on punishment, ‘the me strategies’ is based on choices and consequences that see children motivated to choose to earn incentives and privileges.
Jenny is also a great resource for all things related to child behaviour. she provides some practical tips for parents on how to respond to children lying – and how to prevent it from getting out of hand.
MotherInc has two copies of "The me Stategies" to GiveawayTip #1 – Pick Your Battles
Children DO make mistakes and don't always do things properly or perfectly. It's all part of the learning process of growing up. That being said, don't overwhelm your child by picking on everything that they do wrong. Not only can it affect their self-esteem, but it can also give them reason to continue to make these mistakes in order to draw attention to themselves.
Five should be the maximum number of issues you take up with your child at any one time. Like any relationship, it's important to pick the right times and reasons to go into battle.
Tip #2 – Don't Give in to Pester Power
We've all seen the mother at the supermarket or shopping centre with the tantrum child. The story is always the same – the child wants the toy/snack/treat and the mother has said no. Cue tears, tantrums, and pouty bottom lips.
However giving in to pester power creates bad habits that can be difficult to break – and let's be honest, we'd be broke if we had to give in to every item our children wanted! That's why you need to nip pester power straight in the bud. When your child is pestering you for something in a store, tell them to put it on their birthday or Christmas list. That way you aren't saying 'no' outright, but you aren't giving in either.
Tip #3 – Restrict Their Choices
Asking your child what they want or what they want to do can lead to disaster – arguments, misunderstandings or parents run ragged trying to keep up with all of the 'can I have this?' and 'can I do that?' demands.
To curb their hassles and give yourself peace of mind, always give your child the choice of two alternatives. Most importantly, make sure you are happy with either outcome and that they are both achievable given the circumstances.
Tip #4 – Use 'Thinking Words' rather than 'Confronting Words'
The words that you use when speaking to your child have a lot to do with the outcome. Confronting words are usually statements which use negative language to prove a point, while thinking words put the responsibility of their actions back on the child. For example:
Confronting words: 'You can't watch TV until your homework is done!'
Thinking words: 'Feel free to watch TV as soon as you finish your homework.'
Confronting words: 'You'd better not talk to me like that.' / 'Don't you speak to me like that!'
Thinking words: 'I'll be happy to listen when you calm down.'
Tip #5 – Make One-liners Your New Response
Does it often feel as though you've had this argument with your child before? Arguments and conversations that seem to go around in circles can be prevented by changing your usual response to a one-liner. Instead of becoming 'stuck' in the same conversation, one-liners are unexpected and will often disengage you from the argument. For example:
Child: 'You don't love me!'
Parent (stuck): 'Of course I love you, look at everything I do for you!'
OR Parent (one-liner): 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'
Tip #6 – Encourage Problem Solving
It is important to arm your child with the ability to problem solve themselves rather than seeking constant approval for their decisions and choices. That's not to say that leaving them to their own devices is always a great idea, but when situations arise that need solving, assist your child to work out the negative and positive consequences of the issue before choosing a solution. Doing this also helps to establish their moral compass and gives them the tools to be able to weigh up the positives and negatives of almost any situation.
Tip #7 – Use Consequences, Not Punishment
Many parents fall into the trap of using forms of punishment to try and prove a point. Whether that punishment involves yelling, smacking or grounding, punishment rarely teaches your child what you want them to learn. Punishment is characterised by criticism, sarcasm, disapproval or domination, and is not only damaging to a child's self-esteem, but also teaches them that force, intimidation and revenge are okay. Punishment doesn't teach your child to think for themselves.
By using consequences instead of punishment, children are taught to accept responsibility for their own actions and develop the ability to learn from their mistakes. Consequences teach your child lessons that lead to positive choices and give them the capacity to take responsibility for problems and therefore handle them. Consequences also help your child develop an inner voice of self-control.
Tip #8 – Be Consistent
Consistency is the key to creating and maintaining any child behaviour, whether it is positive or negative. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, and parenting habits are no different. When implementing new parenting techniques, stick to your guns. You decided to undertake them for a reason.
Tip #9 – Reinforce Positive Behaviour
It can be easy to forget reinforcing positive behaviour in your child, however when they do something correctly, give them praise and appreciation. Belief in oneself encourages high self-esteem, and giving your child reasons to believe in themselves will help to nurture their confidence.
Intervention strategies such as 'the me strategies' (
www.themestrategies.com) is a great way to successfully adjust your child's patterns of behaviour, teach new skills, and encourage participation in completing tasks and contributing to the family unit.
'the me strategies' is relevant to more than just basic parenting issues such as misbehaviour or defiance. It can be used to address issues such as childhood obesity, ADHD and bullying as well by teaching your child about action-and-consequence.
[$69.95 (AUD)]
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